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| I figure it's time for a new update on my career goals as well as how my shit's goin' down. Fuckin a', man.
I've decided I want to be a writer in the entertainment industry. Screenplays and scripts, that kinda thing. Writing out plots and stories seems fun, and despite my complete lack of experience, I figure I can find a nice little niche to fit into. I don't care about the money, as long as I can get by. Hell, I'll even do hilariously cheesy porno scripts if I have to. (Okay, I confess, I've always wanted to write something where a guy named Hugh Mungus is a pivotal character (his dick notwithstanding).
Snakes on a Plane premiere coming up, definitely need to see that. TIME interview with Sammy J. shows that they actually went back and reshot some scenes after the huge internet phenomenon the title itself spawned. It's obviously going to be a terrible movie, but that's not the point. This is one of those things a geek like myself needs to view.
After the shit that went down in jolly ol' England this morning, my dad and I have decided it's best to cancel the New York trip. He's thinking of a trip to Vegas instead, which is fine with me, provided I get to play a few hands of Texas Hold 'Em. He came from Korea, and as usual, compensated for his absence by taking me and my sister shopping. I've long ago decided to just leech off of him, as I've given up trying to accept the guy as my dad (The guy freakin' looks like me, so it's hard). I try to get as much shit as I possibly can without looking like a total greedy fuck (which is what I really am, if you judge me by my actions on those particular days).
Recently, we had a job offer from a friend of my sister's, who's computer kept randomly shutting off. Apparently, she has more money than God (driving a fucking Hummer around, are you shitting me), and I decided to not mention price. Luckily, she offered us 150 bucks. CHA-CHING! Nice. Now we're down...what, 170? Yeah. We need to get that website shit sorted out, but to tell the truth, my heart's not really in it. I don't think I can create a website. This basically consists of going to Google pages, creating a quick page, and then copying the source code over to an html editor. Cheap, yes, but effective. Problem is, google pages really isn't that flexible. You gotta go with the pre-made templates, and inserting text and pics into weird places is going to be a bitch.
Ah well. I'll start it soon. | | |
| ...is the funniest movie I've ever seen. I rank it higher than Team America. It's not as quotable, but it's still funnier. The pure debauchery and careless attitude taken with life shown in this movie comes off as crass and rude, but there's a good life lesson beneath the penis-tucking, Pillow Pants (which I won't ruin for you), and Porch monkeys 4 LIFE.
It's a terrific movie in its own regard. It had me and the rest of the theater audience dying of laughter, and it calls for multiple viewings.
The problem is the fact that no one will watch it. It, like the previous movie (which you don't need to see to enjoy the sequel), won't be watched by too many people. This saddens and disappoints me. I mean, shit, this is the perfect movie for Ezekiel, but because of his lack of exposure to Kevin Smith movies, he, like most movie goers, won't be watching this.
And that's a crying shame. | | |
| Well, my streak of never getting a sunburn has apparently ended. I got it mostly on my back, but my chest is feeling the burning sensation. I went to sleep with a frozen bottle of water clenched between my buttcheeks to ease the pain.
...Take that as you will.
The burn was a result of 8 hours at Zuma Beach. That was some seriously fun times, and I really needed it to get my mind off things. I have this thing with beaches, happened two days ago, happens whenever I visit a beach of any kind. At first, I'll say "No way in hell am I going in the water. I didn't bring my swimsuit, and whales ejaculate like 600 gallons of sperm in one go." This will eventually turn into "Man, it's hot, and the waves are pretty fun-looking." Finally, I'll be like "fuck it" and jump in, underwear et all. This is precisely what I did, until I realized what cold salt water feels like on a raw scrotum.
As Ronald so eloquently put it, it's like 700 red hot needles going straight into my bits and pieces. Not pleasant. Luckily, my body has the superhero-like ability to immediately adapt to any environment. Kinda. Eventually, the underwear clinging to my balls, and thereby increasing the amount of immediate salt water to my sperm production centers got to be too much to bear, so I took off my underwear and wore just my shorts.
Let me put it this way. Remember that character from Harry Potter 4? Archie? The guy who was standing in line to get water during the Quidditch World Cup and refused to put on pants because he wanted "a healthy breeze 'round my privates"? Man, I know what this guy's talking about now. I've never felt so liberated, so...so free.
Man, I gotta go commando more often.
I actually boogie boarded near some dolphins. It was an amazing experience. At first, people were like "oh shit fins" until they saw it was a pod of dolphins. I freaked out, and started paddling madly to get close to them. Then a huge wave caught me and sent me tumbling underwater. Fun. What's not fun is my crappy eyesight, and my inability to distinguish anything apart when I came out of the water all disoriented, stumbling wildly to find the group. It took me like 10 minutes of walking back and forth to find them.
Joe just can not catch a break sometimes. we dug this 5 and a half foot hole straight down, and made him get in it, and buried him up to his chin. THEN he went swimming, but a rip tide caught up with him and dragged him out to sea. This decent looking blonde lifeguard had to go and rescue his ass. It was like watching someone pull in a beached whale.
Then, while I was boogie boarding, the tide came in and washed up everyone's shit. However, no one's electronics were hit, except for, you guessed it, Joe's. Finally, he caught a cold that night (couldn't be from the water, since I was in and out of it all day also), and is now sunburned. I feel bad for Shinji, though. The motherfucker is half-German, and has the whitest skin of anyone I know, next to shirtless-Will. His back looked like a lobster on the way to the car, and he screamed when he settled in his seat.
I have pictures, but that's for facebook. | | |
| Well, survived my first year of college. I managed to keep myself in school (shitty grades but I'm allowed to stay, yay), finally decided on a major (which I'll no doubt be changing), and am in a stable relationship with an amazing girl (these three months are going to be torture. I miss her too damn much). Looking back on things, I'd say I came pretty far. Physically, I was in terrible shape. Flabby, weak, and lacking in self-confidence. Now, I'm the opposite in all three areas.
Zeke mentioned something to me in the middle of spring quarter. Ever since he went to college, he has not laughed as hard or as sincerely as he had when he hung out with us. And thinking back on it, it applies to me. Ever since I started college, I have not cracked up to the point where I felt I was dying. During the summer before school started, I was like this nearly everyday. At college, nothing even cameclose. I don't know what it is, but I have a feeling it has to do with the people I've come to love.
Steve graduated on my birthday, and his parents took us out to one hell of a Chinese dinner. And this wasn't a crappy Americanized Chinese place, this was full on Chinese food. Like, the roast chicken still had its head attached. Surreal shit, man. It being Steve's special day, we proceeded to make fun of him, but in a light hearted manner. For instance, his six-inch nipple hair was brought into conversation. I laughed so hard it made up for the entire school year. I laughed 'til my stomach was constricted from the pain, I laughed 'til I couldn't breathe, I laughed until I was welcoming death.
God, I missed that.
The day after, though, I felt bloated, fat, and out of shape. The oily Chinese food had killed my body. I had noticed Mike eating around every dish, trying to get as many of the vegetables and rice away from the meats as much as possible. I've decided to mimic him, and I've started a week-long trial vegetarianism stint. I feel fucking healthy. You know those shits where, when you wipe, there's nothing on the toilet paper (yes, I look, how else am I supposed to know whether or not to keep wiping?)? God I missed those shits. This meatless diet will hopefully bring back those precious, precious shits. I'll be ending this diet when I go to Yeghaiyan's house on Sunday for a BBQ. Yum.
Didn't do anything for my birthday, and didn't see my family at all. Sunny sent me these awesome Japanese sandals, the kind with two wooden slats on the sole. I love the sounds they make when walking on a hard surface, and they remind me of Samurai Jack. Fanny, her best friend, sent me two hilariously bad Batman comics. Still awesome, in that campy sort of way. Speaking of comics, watch Superman Returns. Incredible. Just incredible. I daresay it beats out Batman Begins as my favorite superhero movie. Some cool plot twists that made my balls tingle as only geeky comic book moments can.
This movie is worth it for Kevin Spacey alone. The man is a god.
After the movie, we played basketball. Steve likes to snidely comment on how I like to go around shirtless all the time, but damnit, I don't care. It's too damn hot and humid to play fully clothed. Hell, whenever I'm home, I'm either in nothing buy my underwear, or wearing a pair of shorts. Christ, I'm becoming Ronald's dad. Backstory on this one: I visited Ronald's house one time, and he warned me that his dad liked to walk around in his underwear after coming home from work. Sure enough, the man walked by in tighty whiteys and I nearly died trying to stifle my laughter.
But now, I realize the man is a genius. Life's too damn short to spend it fully clothed, might as well go around as nude as possible without breaking the indecent exposure law. Shit, I need to fight those "No shirt, no shoes, no service" policies a lot of businesses have.
I started drawing again, and managed to do a quick Iron-man drawing. I've been doodling this concept for a while in my notebook, and finally decided to bring it out onto the computer. I've forgotten how therapeutic drawing can be, both physically and mentally. I felt calmer, relaxed, happier when drawing.
Hell, I even posted it onto my deviant art account, which I haven't touched in over a year.
This summer looks to be promising (even if I can't see Sunny...).
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